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“I just don’t know what to do!”



Have you ever faced a seemingly impossible choice?  Of course you have.  We all have.  Maybe you’re facing a very difficult choice right now. 

 

Well, good news.  I’ve got a nice little tool for you that’s helped a huge number of people.  Maybe it’ll help you. 

 

Our choices usually have the same structure.  I want X but, yuck, what about Z?  Z is the price we see ourselves paying for X.  Dilemmas like this come up every day. 

 

Let’s say you want to marry Joe.  He’s a good guy, but there’s a price: he’s overweight and his restaurant isn’t doing great.  Is Joe worth the price? 

 

Here’s how to sort this through.  The problems that make a choice difficult actually fall into one of two categories:

 

--> Is the price you’re facing just a cost of doing the thing? 

 

--> Or is it a reason not to do it? 

 

Say you’re agonizing over the $5,000 cost of a once-in-a-lifetime trip to France.  You keep saying, I’d love to go but oh! the cost!

 

But wait.  Are you able to say to yourself, yeah that’s a lot of money, but, hey, it’s just the cost you pay for a once-in-a-lifetime trip like this.  No!: $5,000 is the cost of going but it’s NOT a reason not to do it. 

 

See?  Done!

 

But what about marrying Joe?  No one can tell you what’s best for you, but you CAN ask yourself whether the fact that he’s fat and has a shaky business is a reason not to marry him.  You’ve been brushing off these issues as just a cost of marrying Joe.  But no!  For you his being fat is a turnoff, and his being financially iffy puts your own savings at risk, when he comes to you for an infusion of cash. 

 

So, yeah, Joe’s a great guy, but these negatives are more than just a cost of saying yes.  For you, they’re a reason for saying no.

 

What have we done here?  Not much.  Just simplified a big hot mess of questions and concerns and boiled them down to just two 

 

And here’s a great way to work this method.  If your choice is not clear, assume the problems are just the cost of saying yes.  See how it feels to live for a while with your saying yes to it.  For most people, they fairly soon either feel more and more comfortable with the yes, or the idea that the costs are a reason not to say yes somehow gets clear as the right way to see the situation. 

 

So.  Don’t know what to do about something?  Look at the price you have to pay for doing it.  

Is the price of doing it just the cost of saying yes?  Then do it. 

 

Or is the price a reason to say no?  Then don’t do it. 

 

Boom.  Done.  Everything we want comes with a price.  You just have to get clear about whether you’re willing to pay that price. 

 

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