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A note to the reader of Why Couples Fight

Updated: Jan 26, 2021

When Why Couples Fight is first available at the end of January, the first thing you’ll read is this note to the reader, letting you know why you might want to read our book:

Let’s face it: you’re not holding this book in your hands because you’re totally happy in your relationship. In fact, you may be pretty unhappy in it.

Maybe you’re not getting a lot of your needs met in your relationship. And this has led to a lot of conflict. Or open warfare. Or maybe the coldness of underground warfare.

And no matter how strong you are as a person, you may often be astounded at how frustrated your partner makes you feel when the two of you try to work out the slightest issue.

I know how you feel because I’ve felt the same way all too often in my own long-term marriage. I know the pain of that frustration since I was a little refugee girl. Since I watched helplessly as my parents struggled in their terrible marriage.

Life is all about having the right tools. Just ask any cook or carpenter. If you have the

right tools, you can do anything. If you don’t, you’re dead in a ditch. This book is about

giving you the tools you need to put an end to painful, unproductive conflict and

instead talk to each other like two people who actually care about each other so you

can both get your needs met in your relationship.

I also know how you feel because I’ve worked with countless people just like you for over forty years and seen all your struggles to get your needs met, to overcome your awful sense of helplessness, and to find your way back to the love that still lives, however deeply buried it may seem at times.

There is a way to save love from drowning in a sea of bitterness, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. However helpless you may feel, you are not helpless. And you and your partner can become the couple you always thought you were and always wanted to be.


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