THE CHESTNUT HILL INSTITUTE

Is forgiveness possible after an affair?  YES!  And how do you find it?  For some good answers, read this article about our new book When Good People Have Affairs.

If your life has ever been touched by an affair, or this issues is of any interest to you (and it should be: half of all people will have their lives affected by an affair), listen to a radio interview with Mira about her new book When Good People Have Affairs. (To hear the interview, available as a podcast, try either of these links: this one or this one.) I think you’ll find this interview MOST interesting.  Charles

So many people have said so many things about our new book, that it might be worth taking a look at what it actually does and what’s actually in it. Here to the rescue is an article from the Amapedia, and in it you’ll see what this book really does and how it does it:

When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships is the very first book to look at affairs from the point of view of the adulterer . . . Read the rest of this entry. »

 Well, it’s pretty clear now.  The people who’ve criticized our new book haven’t read it.  But thoughtful people who have read it have really liked it.  Here’s an example from the British newspaper the Independent:

Yes, Good People Do Have Affairs 

Terrence Blacker, Thursday, 12 June 2008
With impeccable timing, a book which explains and excuses infidelity has just been published. Traditionally, early summer is a happy, anguished time for adulterers, seasonal erotic restlessness coinciding with the availability of longer, warmer daylight hours for illicit walks and picnics. Over the past few days, conversation among these unofficial lovers may have turned to Mira Kirshenbaum’s new book, When Good People Have Affairs. Read the rest of this entry. »

Hey! Now you can read an excerpt of our new book When Good People Have Affairs. It was published by the Daily Mail in the UK. You can read the excerpt right here, but if you want here’s the link to the original. Enjoy!:

‘Can an affair really SAVE a marriage’?

A controversial new book reveals infidelity doesn’t have to end in disaster

By Mira Kirshenbaum
Last updated at 10:49 AM on 11th June 2008

Mira Kirshenbaum has worked in psychotherapy for 30 years and counselled hundreds of couples. In her controversial and provocative new book When Good People Have Affairs - with which many will disagree - she argues that while infidelity is wrong, affairs don’t have to be disastrous: it’s how we handle them that matters. And one of the worst things we can do is feel guilty. Mira argues her case…

Affairs, while they can be hurtful and destructive, can also save marriages. Read the rest of this entry. »

Here’s a fascinating article about our new book from the great UK newspaper the Independent. We know you’ll enjoy it.

What kind of adulterer are you?

There are 17 reasons people cheat, Mira Kirshenbaum says in her book ‘When Good People Have Affairs’, and they’re not all selfish or immoral

By Andy McSmith
Monday, 9 June 2008

There are 17 basic reasons why someone who is not entirely selfish or immoral might have cheat on their spouse, says a new book by an eminent American therapist. Mira Kirshenbaum, clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute, in Boston, Massachusetts, has drawn some flak for suggesting in her new book that many adulterers are good, kind people, and that affairs can help a marriage.

She also advises husbands or wives who have affairs not to go home and own up, because discovery of the truth can cause more damage than concealment. She maintains that divorce may not be such a bad thing in some circumstances.

Having worked in psychotherapy for 30 years, Kirshenbaum is well known in the USA as an author and broadcaster. The child of holocaust survivors, she was born in Uzbekistan, and arrived in the USA at the age of four. She is now a grandmother.

So, what are those 17 reasons for two-timing your spouse? The list here . . . Read the rest of this entry. »

 This article about our new book comes from one of the largest papers in the UK.  Enjoy!

Having an affair can help to save a struggling marriage, according to a new, controversial self-help book.

By Laura Clout
Kirshenbaum, who has over 30 years’ experience as a marriage therapist, says the ‘right kind’ of affair can be a positive thing, acting to “jolt people from their inertia”.

The author of When Good People Have Affairs, published this week, argues that because society has so far failed to have a sympathetic discussion of infidelity, . . . Read the rest of this entry. »

Here’s a great review of our new book WHEN GOOD PEOPLE HAVE AFFAIRS by Julia McKinnell writing for Macleans, Canada’s leading magazine:

Mira Kirshenbaum’s latest self-help book, When Good People Have Affairs, prompted her friend to ask: why publish an advice book that helps creeps who betray their spouses? You’re not supposed to help those people, her friend said angrily. But Kirshenbaum, who is a therapist, says . . . Read the rest of this entry. »

Let me get this out of the way right now.  I love Sex and the City.  You know, the cable TV show.  (I haven’t seen the movie.)  I’ve watched every episode at least a couple of times.  It’s absolutely fascinating and engaging, and not just because (as I was told) many episodes were based on my own book Women & Love.

But I need to get something else out of the way.  Sex and the City also makes me, and I think many other women, crazy.  Read the rest of this entry. »

Well, today’s the day.  It’s the publication date for our new book WHEN GOOD PEOPLE HAVE AFFAIRS.  If this book is for you, now you can buy it.  Is it for you?  Well, it is if you or someone you love is having an affair.  It is if you’re trying to be there for someone you know who’s dealing with an affair.  It is if your life was affected by an affair in the past.  It is if you’re tempted to have an affair and are trying to understand why you want to cheat.  An affair is a crisis, a turning point, a fork in the road with one way leading to danger and the other leading to better things.  This book will help you figure out which road to take.