MIRA KIRSHENBAUM

Mira Kirshenbaum has an international reputation as a therapist for individuals, couples, and families. She is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute. A sought-after speaker, Mira is the author of nine award-winning books, some national and international bestsellers. She has appeared many times on the Today Show and has been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.

The biggest problem couples face today?

What do you fight about?  And how often?  This is important.  New research shows that of all kinds of fights, the fights most likely to lead to divorce were Read the rest of this entry. »

Yes, marriages can heal after an affair

In a recent New York Times op-ed on no-fault divorce, relationship historian Stephanie Coontz casually mentioned that “there is growing evidence that marital counseling can repair some marriages even after infidelity.”  And, we would add, after any kind of Read the rest of this entry. »

More on the crazy business of predicting marital success

OK, so here’s an answer you didn’t expect to the question, “Will you end up divorced?”: So what?  So what if you end up divorced?

I know: I’m being horrible.  But I just want you to consider Read the rest of this entry. »

More on the crazy business of predicting marital success

In the previous blog we started a series on predicting divorce or marital success.  Will we make it or won’t we? is the question so many people ask. 

Today I want to talk about an aspect of this that few people talk about but that’s very real.  If you ask someone if they want to get divorced or stay married, the honest answer, and the accurate one, based on research, is Read the rest of this entry. »

The crazy business of predicting marital success

Maybe I just woke up in a bad mood, but I’m getting really pissed off at all the articles I’ve been seeing about predicting divorce or marital success.  There was one recently in the Daily Beast, for example, and the Gore split up has produced a flash flood of articles, like this one in the New York Times.  The articles themselves are good.  It’s the stuff in them that fries my onions.

What’s the point of predicting risk of divorce for already-married couples?  Read the rest of this entry. »

Great new review of TGTL audiobook

We want to thank Terri Schlichenmeyer for a lovely review of the audiobook version of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay that appeared in the Pittsburgh Tribune.  Please check it out.  So many people have read TGTL and gotten so much from it.  So many people have been liberated from relationship ambivalence.  So many people have found a way to a new life by getting out of a bad marriage.  So many people have found that their marriage really is too good to leave.  This is a life changing book.  And of course you can get it fast from Amazon. 

“Nervous breakdown, meet the emotional energy factor” 

We love it when we turn out to be able to see into the future.  Well, that’s what happened when we wrote our widely praised book The Emotional Energy Factor: we knew that millions of people were running on empty.  The stresses and difficulties of life were getting to them.  Their emotional energy was all going out, with nothing coming in. 

And then what happens?  Well, you know as well as I do.  We’ve all felt we’re getting close Read the rest of this entry. »

Why mothers and daughters have troubled relationships

What is it with mothers and daughters?  I remember once telling the mother of an 17-year-old young woman, “Woe to the mother whose ass is smaller than her daughter’s.”  And in fact, this girl was furious with her mom for many reasons, not the least of which was Read the rest of this entry. »

“Tell me: how messed up is my family?”

There are a lot of ways to look at the American family.  You can collect statistics and die of boredom.  You can look at your own family and, in too many cases, die of shame. 

Or you can look at a bunch of real families and how they actually spend their time.  Read the rest of this entry. »

Why not just hide the truth until it’s pried from your cold dead hands?

Welcome to the land of truth, lies, and trust issues.  A friend of mine recently told me, in a sadly casual way, that every woman he ever met through a dating site was lying about something that was immediately apparent on the first date.  Age.  Weight.  Sanity.  Whatever. 

The problem is that once we know that other people are lying, what are we to do?  Read the rest of this entry. »