I was reading a really good article online and I came across these words, which stopped me in my tracks.
A cry for attention is positioned as the ultimate crime, clutching or trivial — as if ‘attention’ were inherently a selfish thing to want. But isn’t wanting attention one of the most fundamental traits of being human — and isn’t granting it one of the most important gifts we can ever give?
And there you have one of the central needs and central conflicts in relationships today. We want our partner’s attention. His undivided attention, ungrudgingly given. And yet we too often feel we need to justify or pay for this attention.
So let’s put things back in perspective. Attention is a fundamental right in relationships. And that’s because it’s a basic human need. We may not wither and die without attention, but we certainly wither, shrink, starve, dry up, and go dead inside without attention, like a lonely leaf still left on a tree at the beginning of a New England winter.
The homeless, the aged, and the poor all will tell you that one of the worst parts of their status is feeling invisible. Being ignored. It’s terrible to be treated badly, but in some ways it’s worse to not be dealt with at all.
It’s all about (more…)