For many families, the holidays bring the same battle every year: no one can agree on where to spend Christmas.  You like my mother, but my father always gets drunk and obnoxious.  I like your dad, but your mom can’t cook.  My sister lives so far away it’s an awful drive.  Your brother lives in a dump.  I’d like to have people over our house, but the last time we did it it was so much trouble it ruined Christmas for us. 

And so what should be one of the happiest, most loving times of the year turns into a conflict-filled, stressed-out disaster. 

There’s got to be a better way.  And there is. (more…)

It’s a day for thanks.  It’s a day for giving.  At least it should be.  But too often Thanksgiving is a day marred – destroyed sometimes – by the stress of going overboard, the tension that goes with travel, and by family members acting badly.  So sad.  Especially when it’s so easy to have a happy Thanksgiving.  The rules (more…)

Sometimes you run into someone so evil and hypocritical that is just makes your head spin.  It’s really disturbing.  And that happened to us here (more…)

Last time we talked about some tools and tricks for getting to sleep faster and more easily.  Now we want to offer you some ways to overcome one of the biggest obstacles to getting a good night’s sleep: night thoughts, which we described as “dark, disturbing, fretful, nerve-jangling thoughts” that creep into your head like mental snakes and keep you awake just like, well, a real snake in your bed would. 

The most important thing to know is that night thoughts are a paper tiger.  They feel horrible and seem overwhelming, but in fact you’d be surprised at how easily you can make them go away or render them helpless to disturb you.  (more…)

Do you have a hard time getting to sleep?  Well, if so you know you’re not alone, but that’s small comfort.  Nothing’s worse than lying down at the end of the day, and you’re dog tired, and you’d love nothing more than to drift into dreamland.  But instead you find the minutes tick by, your thoughts grow darker, the sheets get more twisted, and there it is: you’re having trouble falling asleep.  All you want is a good night’s sleep.  If only there were something you could do that would bring on the sleep you’re longing for…..

Well, it turns out that there are lots of things we can do to help ourselves fall asleep.  (more…)

Just did an interview for a major magazine (can’t mention the name) about emotional energy — triggers, boosters, drainers, and how to get more when you really need it.  Thought you might be interested in seeing it in raw form before it turns into a magazine piece months from now.  (more…)

This is a secret of some of the greatest artists and athletes.  Play loose.  Sure, you can’t have a blast every second, but being more playful will help keep your energy high.  And I’ll tell you: there is no task that can’t be done in a looser, funner way.  Sometimes all that’s involved is just taking things a little less seriously.  You’ll find you can stay in the game a lot longer, enjoy yourself more, and do a better job.

When I [Charles] was a kid my dad was unemployed a lot.  I wrote my doctoral dissertation on the impact of unemployment on mental health.  I know what it’s like.  And now, with the spike in unemployment over the past year, new data is coming in showing that being unemployed can hurt more than your bank account—it can hurt your whole family.  It’s just like when one person comes home with a cold and pretty soon everyone is sick.  In the same way, unemployment’s effects start with the breadwinner and ripple out to spouse, kids, and everyone else.  The kids are at risk of becoming depressed, anxious, performing poorly in school, getting into trouble.  About 20 million kids are at risk of this.

But is doesn’t have to be this way.  Unemployment can be a wonderful opportunity for everyone, particularly the kids, to learn lessons in resilience that can have life-long benefits.  (more…)

Who is the most important person in your life that you’re not feeling connected to right now?  That’s your missing person.  Well, then, (more…)

Olivia Judson’s latest NYTimes blog reminded me of a fact we’ve been wanting to talk about.  They say that mood is contagious.  Well, it is, more than you think.  It goes way beyond mood.  (more…)