What should you do if you’re in an unhappy marriage: get a divorce or stick it out?  This question has long tormented many thoughtful people.  A lot of people think that unless there is physical or emotional abuse, then you should stick it out.  And that’s because, they say, divorce is such a costly alternative.  Now there may be new evidence that divorce is more costly than many of us think.  But is it?  We need to look more deeply. (more…)

Nothing hurts more than betrayal.  It’s like experiencing your own personal earthquake: what you thought was solid ground under your feet turns out to be vertigo-inducing jelly.  You feel you don’t know who this stranger is who’s taken over the body of your spouse.  But in the midst of all that fear and pain, people often do the worst possible thing: (more…)

Being a grandparent can be the sweetest, most fun thing in the world.  But it can sometimes be confusing and a source of conflict between parents and grandparents.  So what IS the job description for being a grandparent anyway?  (more…)

A husband and wife go to bed.  The man sleeps like a baby.  The woman tosses and turns.  Sound familiar?  Indeed it turns out that women report more troubled, less refreshing sleep than men.  Why? 

Well, it turns out that an important reason why women don’t sleep as well as men, and are more stressed, is that married women still do more than their share of the housework, which includes childcare.  And that needs to change.  Here’s why and how. (more…)

When a woman finds that her guy has cheated on her, she has a lot of emotions, all painful.  But one of those emotions is anger at the other woman.  She feels that as much as her mate was at fault it was also the fault of that bitch for trying to steal another woman’s man.  Now there’s new evidence that this anger at the other woman may be well placed.  It turns out that women are turned on by married men.  (more…)

I think most of us would agree with these ground rules:  “It’s okay if you don’t agree with someone.  But it’s not okay if you tell a lie about that person.  And it’s despicable if you spread lies about that person.”  You agree with that, don’t you?  And yet a lot of people have been knowingly spreading terrible lies about Mira Kirshenbaum and our new book When Good People Have Affairs.  So it’s time to lay out what the truth is here.  (more…)

They say that truth is stranger than fiction.  Really?  Even when it comes to love?  What if the love stories that meant the most to us were just pale reflections of the love we live? (more…)

You might be saying, “But I never even thought I was married to a rhinoceros!”  Don’t be so sure.  It’s really important to get this right.  (more…)

Nothing is good.  We all need a lot more nothing in our lives.  We need it desperately.  Let me explain. (more…)