Is there someone in your family who complains all the time? Then you know what a corrosive irritant complaining is. You can bear the complaining for a while, but then it begins to get to you, and the next thing you know you’re close to hating the complainer. Complainers are people who inevitably make a sunny day feel like a cold drizzle.
This is so corrosive because of the family dynamics complainers launch. X complains. Y soon starts complaining about X’s complaining. X complains about being hated by Y…. Soon there’s going to be a blow up. In the end this is a recipe for everyone making distance from X and for X to feel disliked by everyone.
So we gotta figure this out, right? Especially since it’s the kind of problem that never seems to go away on its own. Right?
Here then is the Q and A.
What IS complaining in the first place?
OK, this is radical, but true: Complaining is talking about what’s wrong, or disappointing, or imperfect, or displeasing with a person or situation. Radical indeed. Complaining is so woven into our habits of conversation, that with a definition like this many will wonder how we could ever talk at all without complaining.
Are there any alternatives to complaining?
Complaining shows its true self in the light of the alternatives. Let’s say you walk into what you’d hoped was a really nice restaurant and it soon becomes clear that the service is on the slow side, and the butter is cold.
One really good, and really easy, alternative is: (more…)