The Man Who Had an Affair with His Wife
by Mira and Charles on March 16th, 2009Let me tell you about the smartest man I ever knew. No, he wasn’t a rocket scientist. In fact, he owned a small produce business. But here’s what made him such a genius.
One day he met a woman. Not his wife. This woman was a buyer for one of stores he sold to. But he got the hots for this woman, and she did for him. They were about to have an affair.
That’s when this guy got the idea that made him a genius… He was starting to think about how dangerous an affair could be. (Nothing special about that: most people who are about to cheat think about that.) How it could ruin his life and the life of the people he cared most about.
And this guy got the idea that maybe there was an alternative to this affair. He knew why he wanted to cheat. Things were boring at home. He wanted excitement and adventure. But most of all he wanted to feel loved.
WHAT IF INSTEAD OF BRINGING THESE NEEDS TO THIS OTHER WOMAN HE BROUGHT THESE NEEDS TO HIS WIFE? What if, without mentioning the other woman, he let his wife know what was going on for him, how concerned he was, what a dangerous place he thought they were in?
That’s what he did. And his wife got it. She understood what was at stake. And so instead of having an affair with the other woman, he had an affair with his wife. And that made all the difference.
If you’re thinking of having an affair, think about his guy. Do what he did. Try having the affair you were contemplating with your spouse instead.
If you’ve already started having an affair, I realize that things have gotten a lot more complicated. The best thing you could do would be to read my new book, When Good People Have Affairs, to help you sort things out.
But you might also want to try to ask yourself this: What would my marriage be like if I put the same energy into it that I am putting into this affair? This too could make all the difference.
Now I know that about 46% (!!!) of you in committed relationships have had to deal with one side of an affair or another. So how did you deal with it? What do you wish you’d done? What are you glad you’ve done? How did it all turn out? Please post your experiences. You will help many others. THANKS!
