Getting through hard times together
by Mira and Charles on December 3rd, 2008OK, it’s happened. Suddenly the wolf is at the door. One way or another, the worldwide economic crisis has hit your household. A layoff notice. A sudden threat of foreclosure. A downturn in your family business or practice. It could just be the sense that things are going to be harder now.
Alright, then, what do you do? HOW DO YOU
One, have hope. Even if the wolf is at the door, even if the wolf has eaten the door, the odds are overwhelming that if you don’t lose your head you’ll be back on track in a few years. You’ve just had a setback, a fender bender; your life hasn’t been totaled. This is important because lack of hope leads to despair and anxiety which is crippling to the average stress-vulnerable relationship, which is most of us. But you don’t need despair and anxiety, because you will get through this and you will be okay.
Two, become a team. Good times can gloss over a lot of ways couples are at odds in how they handle finances. Hard times make that a luxury you can’t afford. Whichever one of you is the most practical, hard-headed, finance friendly should be in charge. Talk about what you need to do, make sure you’re both on board, and then really support each other. If one of you is a money monkey (you know, your instinct is to just throw it around!), then for the sake of your future and your relationship you will have to let the more sober of you be the chief financial officer. Now, of all times, you need to protect your love and your money.
Three, take fast, decisive action. Don’t wait until things get out of hand, or you get under water. Immediately cut back on all unnecessary expenses: premium cable channels, figure skating lessons for the kids, you name it. Cancel any upcoming expenditures: the new car, the vacation you were looking forward to (even if you have to lose your deposit). You have to be ruthless about this. It sucks, but it will make all the difference in the months to come. The money you save now will save your life later on.
Four, ask for help. If you had a heap of savings, you wouldn’t be up against it now. So don’t be shy about asking family and friends for help. That’s what they’re there for.
And five, talk to your creditors. Before you get into trouble, call up the people you owe money to and work something out with them. You might be surprised at how flexible some of your creditors can be. After all, getting something from you every month is a lot better than getting nothing. And if you talk to them, you’ll build trust, which could buy you some real time.
If you follow these five simple steps, you will be okay.
Now if you are going through this right now, let me know what you are doing AS A COUPLE to keep the ship afloat. Any tips you have could help a lot of people.
