http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/54 w h e n y o u ' r e r e a d y t o m a k e r e a l c h a n g e s Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:06:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/54#comment-920 Vida Tue, 27 May 2008 00:48:21 +0000 http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/54#comment-920 Hi Mira, I am married 15 years with three children. I started corresponding via emails with an old lover from before my husband and I got together. When we reconnected thier were fireworks and the love I had for this man came back to me like it had not left. He lives out of state and we met twice last summer, for 3 hours each while he was traveling, and we had physical touching,kissing, petting etc. but no intercourse. The second meeting, we had the opportunity to go to a motel over night, but both decided that it would not be best for either of us. He has a wife and child also. We have written weekly and there are romantic overtones and some sexual at times as well. I feel very strong feelings for this man, and I never intended for this to happen. I know it would be most fair and honest to stop all communication, but I have twice tried and then reconnected after missing him so much. I have issues in my marriage most closely described in your book Too Good To Leave Too Bad To Stay with a power. The power person being my husband. I can not tell you how invaluable the descriptions and information in that chapter were to me. I felt like a weight had been lifted and a bliondfold removed off my eyes. And yet, I am still with my husband ina marriage that does not meet my needs. I am working on nonreacting with anger to him and making myself happy, while I am with still with him. It does not look like he is interested in changing anything about himself or our marriage. This is not the topic, but I wanted to share it, because I was lonely and hurt and sent an email to this old love thinking I just wanted to say hello, but unconsciously, I was thrilled when he started sharing about how he loved me all these years. We had a break up that was sudden and he initiciated it and we never had closure about it. He had called me a at times over the years and acted like he was just wanting to say hello, and htis time he admitted he missed me alot and really wanted to see if I was available. He is not and niether am I as I mentiuoned, yet we are attached to one another, thru our emails and occasional phone calls. I am not proud of this behavior, and I am a good person, but I am doing something I never thought I would do and do not want to give it up. I would like some insight into this. I googled "old love" some tim eago and found a strudy by a Dr Nancy Kalish, which documents the strong bond that often occurs when a past love is reignited. Her book,"Lost and Found Lovers" describes the phemonmenon. Thank you for any input you can offer. Hi Mira,
I am married 15 years with three children. I started corresponding via emails with an old lover from before my husband and I got together.
When we reconnected thier were fireworks and the love I had for this man came back to me like it had not left.
He lives out of state and we met twice last summer, for 3 hours each while he was traveling, and we had physical touching,kissing, petting etc. but no intercourse.
The second meeting, we had the opportunity to go to a motel over night, but both decided that it would not be best for either of us. He has a wife and child also.
We have written weekly and there are romantic overtones and some sexual at times as well. I feel very strong feelings for this man, and I never intended for this to happen. I know it would be most fair and honest to stop all communication, but I have twice tried and then reconnected after missing him so much.
I have issues in my marriage most closely described in your book Too Good To Leave Too Bad To Stay with a power. The power person being my husband. I can not tell you how invaluable the descriptions and information in that chapter were to me. I felt like a weight had been lifted and a bliondfold removed off my eyes. And yet, I am still with my husband ina marriage that does not meet my needs. I am working on nonreacting with anger to him and making myself happy, while I am with still with him.
It does not look like he is interested in changing anything about himself or our marriage.
This is not the topic, but I wanted to share it, because I was lonely and hurt and sent an email to this old love thinking I just wanted to say hello, but unconsciously, I was thrilled when he started sharing about how he loved me all these years. We had a break up that was sudden and he initiciated it and we never had closure about it. He had called me a at times over the years and acted like he was just wanting to say hello, and htis time he admitted he missed me alot and really wanted to see if I was available. He is not and niether am I as I mentiuoned, yet we are attached to one another, thru our emails and occasional phone calls.
I am not proud of this behavior, and I am a good person, but I am doing something I never thought I would do and do not want to give it up.
I would like some insight into this. I googled “old love” some tim eago and found a strudy by a Dr Nancy Kalish, which documents the strong bond that often occurs when a past love is reignited. Her book,”Lost and Found Lovers” describes the phemonmenon.
Thank you for any input you can offer.

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