The Best Advice EVER for Successful New Year’s Resolutions
by Mira and Charles on December 19th, 2007I know what you’re thinking. Here comes another new year, and there are those things you don’t like about yourself or your life (and who wants to think about that!). And sure as winter brings cold and snow to us up here in Boston, you feel a determination bubble up within you to change things. “This will be the year…” And like lots of us you feel on the verge yet again to make a New Year’s Resolution.
DON’T! Unless … well, how have your past resolutions worked out for you? If you’re like me (and I’m like most people in this respect), your past resolutions haven’t brought you the major changes you were hoping for. In fact, New Year’s Resolutions are too often a set-up for failure and discouragement. Sorry, but it’s true, and you know it.
But is there an alternative? YES! If you want to make a real change in your life or just give yourself the best year ever, there’s one book that is the best resource ever, and it’s called The Gift of a Year. Do yourself a favor and check it out.
But for good, quick help, the solution is called a New Year’s Plan. You want to change something in the new year? Fine, but focus on the how, not the what. How will you carry out your resolution? If in your answer, you used words like “determination” or “committed,” you’re doomed! If commitment and determination were the answer, you’d already have what you’re hoping to have now.
There are a lot of good tips for how to carry out New Year’s Resolutions, and here are some others, but having a plan is the real secret of people who are successful with their New Year’s Resolutions.
To form a plan, ask yourself these questions, and try to find the best answers you can:
1. “Who will support me?” You need support if you hope to succeed. Someone to guide you, advise you, encourage you, stay on your case, be your partner. Someone to take you by the hand and be with you step by step.
2. “What’s the step-by-step?” Every important goal is the sum of success with a lot of little goals. All right then, how can you break down what you want to do into a series of steps? What’s the one-day-at-a-time version of your doing what you want to do?
3. “Where are the glitches?” For your resolution to succeed, you should ask in advance “If I failed at this, how would that happen?” Who, or what, would sabotage your efforts? If you know where you will run into trouble in advance, you can clear away the obstacles before they get in your way.
4. “Are you doing this for yourself?” If you resolve to do something just to please someone else, that’s a setup for failure. You’ve got to know why you’re making this resolution, and you’ve got to understand down to the bottom of your heart why it’s good for you to succeed with it.
And the cool thing is that if you follow this advice, keeping your New Year’s Resolution can be easy. Finally this can be the year where you really do lose that weight, learn Spanish, run a marathon, write a novel, or make any other dream come true.
And if your goals involve improving your relationship, I’ve got some very good news for you. I’ve just started a group on RevolutionHealth.com. Please join my group (it’s free!) and you will be set up with goals and activities that will bring more love, deeper intimacy, and a higher level of everything you’re looking for in your relationship.
As for your resolutions, I’d say Good luck, but if you follow this advice, you won’t need it. So, Have fun!
