“If you have been affected by an affair…”
by Mira and Charles on August 7th, 2010The latest reader response
I don’t usually publish new Amazon reviews here—even the really good ones!—because there are too many of them, and it can seem like bragging. But I thought you might want to see the latest review on Amazon of When Good People Have Affairs. It’s not so much because it is so positive (OK, I do like to brag a little). No, it’s because it is from someone who was cheated on. When Good People… was the first book on affairs that tried to look intelligently and sensitively at the cheater. Not that we condoned cheating. We don’t, of course. But if healing is going to happen—and it can and should happen, if at all possible—then demonizing the cheater is of no help. Most people got this, and a few didn’t.
But the main reason I wanted you to see this review is that it is from someone who was cheated on. And she (at least I think it was a she—I don’t actually know) totally got it. She saw the importance of understanding what the affair was all about. That is essential for people to figure out what to do and how to heal.
Here’s the review:
That’s the question that kept ringing in my head about the affair, and that’s the question that Mira Kirshenbaum actually answers in this book.
If that’s the question you keep asking yourself about an affair, this is essential reading.
It really doesn’t matter how you’ve been affected by an affair — whether you are the cheater, the lover, the cheated on spouse, the friend, the sister, the therapist, etc. If you have been affected by an affair, this book will help you understand what’s going on and then help you deal with it in a compassionate, realistic, and proactive way.
Anger, judgment, beating yourself up, resentment, and shame all don’t help anyone in this situation. Kindness and understanding do! This book offers a huge amount of both, and helps you benefit from them as well.
So if you have been affected by an affair, please read this book. If you’re like me, this book will be a huge help and may even change your life for the better — just read some of the other reviews!
(And remember, you can always go back to the confusion, anger, shame, self-hatred, etc. later if you want.)
