“What the hell are you guys all about?”
by Mira and Charles on October 8th, 2007We get asked this all the time. “With about a bazillion shrinks and coaches and assorted helpers and advisors running around out there, what makes you guys special? What is it like to come to you for help?”
“What does The Chestnut Hill Institute stand for, and why does that make a difference?”
Great questions, and I wish I could give a quick, ten-word answer. But then that would mean that we had a gimmick. You know: scream therapy, hate your mother therapy, make your mind empty therapy, Freud, Jung, Joe Blow, you name it. But we don’t have a gimmick. (Maybe that’s our gimmick!) We’re just interested in What Works to Solve Your Problem Fast. That’s easier and faster for you, thank goodness, but it means we’ve got to do our homework and figure out what, for you and your problem, works best.
But there are a lot of things we believe in and stand up for, even if there aren’t any gimmicks.
We believe in research. It’s not about opinions, attitudes, doctrines, or other hobby horses. All that matters, like in the best medicine, is what real research says actually works best.
We believe in having a success-based focus. What does that mean? You won’t get anywhere studying why you have the problem you have. After all, if you get the flu, how much time does your doctor spend trying to figure out who sneezed on you? Who cares? Here’s what we do instead. Starting with our very first book, Parent/Teen Breakthrough, we studied people who were successful raising teenagers. Then we said, OK, what’s the difference between what those people who were successful did and what the rest of us do? (It turned out to be something real simple, by the way!) Then we put that in a book, so the rest of us could learn to do what people who were successful do. And by the way: over and over we found that people weren’t successful because they were smarter or better educated or even worked harder. They were just lucky enough to hit on solutions that turn out to work. And that we all can use. We also did the same kind of reseach to create our book The Emotional Energy Factor, which is all about how people just like you, going through tough times just like yours, were able to maintain a high level of emotional energy.
We believe that decision making is very important. Every person, every organization, is a decision waiting to happen. People are in pain and in trouble because they’re having trouble making the decisions that will save them. So all of our work helps people make those crucial decisions that they need to make, and helps them make great decisions in the process. You can see this, for example, in our best selling Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay and our book on decision making What Do I Do Now?.
We believe that we all live in a context, and that this context has a huge impact on how we function and feel, and that the most important of these contexts is our primary relationship. When love sucks, everything sucks. So we have devoted much of our professional lives helping people make love work (in the sense of functioning well) and making love easy (because when love works it is easy, or at least easier than when it doesn’t work). For example, check out The Weekend Marriage.
We believe in common sense. Therapy and coaching are more filled with bullshit than almost any other areas except theology and management. But we believe that life is simpler than many people think, and every time people talk about how complicated and deep things are they’re just trying to steal your wallet. Of course, common sense without evidence isn’t worth much. But as you now know, we believe in evidence too.
And we believe in hope. We believe the world makes sense. We believe we are all oriented towards growth and change and becoming our best selves. That, for example, is why we wrote Everything Happens for a Reason. Mediocrity and suffering aren’t the best we can do. We were all born to be happy and smart, and the main reason to be smart is so you can be happy.
Oh, yes. One more thing, because lots of people ask about it. No, sorry, The Chestnut Hill Institute is not one of those places where you can come to have a nervous breakdown and stay overnight. But we do want you to visit our website and we do want you do come to us for help. Because when you are ready to make those much-needed changes in your life, and solve the problems that have been burdening you, we’ll be ready to help you.
Any questions? Contact us!
