http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/128 w h e n y o u ' r e r e a d y t o m a k e r e a l c h a n g e s Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:36:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/128#comment-2956 Charles Thu, 10 Sep 2009 10:06:46 +0000 http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/128#comment-2956 thank you -- these are wise and important words. And this, of course, is exactly why in When Good People Have Affairs Mira and I made SUCH a strong appeal to the cheater to choose. the temptation is always to stay up in the air, but all that does is hurt everyone and drive them crazy, as roadtripblues says. now that book was written from the point of view of the cheater. thank god we have helped so many people sort of their lives with a minimum of pain. but it's starting to look like we have GOT to write a book for "the other woman.:" What do you think?? thank you — these are wise and important words. And this, of course, is exactly why in When Good People Have Affairs Mira and I made SUCH a strong appeal to the cheater to choose. the temptation is always to stay up in the air, but all that does is hurt everyone and drive them crazy, as roadtripblues says. now that book was written from the point of view of the cheater. thank god we have helped so many people sort of their lives with a minimum of pain. but it’s starting to look like we have GOT to write a book for “the other woman.:” What do you think??

]]> http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/128#comment-2953 roadtripinblues Thu, 10 Sep 2009 02:49:50 +0000 http://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/blog/128#comment-2953 I found myself being the other woman when I was the one he loved first. That part was a mistake. My man of 4 years moved out & got his own place. so he wasn't really cheating on me as much as with me. My mistake was rushing back in every time he said he was done with her. Then he was confused again. Because he missed the one who wasn't there. Give the situation time to cool off but not neglected. I should have made him wait as long to get back into it, as it had taken for him to miss me again & do something about it. When he had gone back to her for 10 days I should have insisted he stay without either of us for 11 days. Yet staying in slight contact. Don't let the "fear of losing" the other let you rush back in. If you don't really have them back it's better to find out while you are still getting by - day by day/ one breath at a time - without them then to start all over' again in short period of time. Never let someone cut you off from the friends you had before them. you'll need your friends to keep you strong when rough waters hit. Or when you decide to start over new. It's hard to make new friends when you're sad about what's gone. I found myself being the other woman when I was the one he loved first. That part was a mistake. My man of 4 years moved out & got his own place. so he wasn’t really cheating on me as much as with me. My mistake was rushing back in every time he said he was done with her. Then he was confused again. Because he missed the one who wasn’t there. Give the situation time to cool off but not neglected. I should have made him wait as long to get back into it, as it had taken for him to miss me again & do something about it. When he had gone back to her for 10 days I should have insisted he stay without either of us for 11 days. Yet staying in slight contact. Don’t let the “fear of losing” the other let you rush back in. If you don’t really have them back it’s better to find out while you are still getting by - day by day/ one breath at a time - without them then to start all over’ again in short period of time. Never let someone cut you off from the friends you had before them. you’ll need your friends to keep you strong when rough waters hit. Or when you decide to start over new. It’s hard to make new friends when you’re sad about what’s gone.

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